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June 16, 2011 / iainnd

An Oath for Geoff

My housemate has a thesis due soon. He was asked by his professor to write him an oath that he would hand it in on time. He employed me for this task, asking that it be as ridiculously pretentious as possible. I think I did alright:

By the tolling of the fifth afternoon bell,
On the fifteenth day in July
In this Year of our Lord eleven and twenty hundred
This shall be done:
This, my duty, my goal, my destiny
Verily I do swear to fulfil on the name of my family;
For should I fail in my promise,
Let naught but shame and dishonour
Fall unto the House of Pidcock.
My thesis complete
In two copies hard, inked upon Reflex sheets of white,
Bound in hide of cow by the goblins of AllBook;
With one copy digital, the sum of all my knowledge
In the language of machines, a mass of ones and zeros.
As sure as the sun glows in our sky,
As sure as day becometh night,
As sure as our lease of these earthly bodies of ours expires
And we leave them to the ground to wither to dust,
These things I shall bequeath to you.

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